Responding to Blood

Due to the nature of my blog, I doubt I would ever want to actively seek an audience for it, but Blood offers some really good advice for doing so in the The Weblog Handbook. It’s always nice to know the rules of an activity before you start seriously playing around and this applies to weblogs as well. Blood’s book gives the “newbie” a chance to at least act like they know what they’re doing. I have tried to proceed with caution as much as possible when blogging about my children, so I was pleased to find the section devoted to protecting children. This small section lists things to avoid:

“…I would caution you to think carefully about publishing information that could tie your children to a physical location: the name of their school, your home address, or even a teacher’s name, if your website makes clear what city you live in. (137)”

She also mentions that if you are blogging about someone else’s child you should be even more careful not to divulge any information about them.

I have seen many blogs about children where the bloggers are fairly open about who they are and you can click through many pictures of them and their children as well as learn where they work or anything you could possibly want to know about them. I have also read a blog maintained by an elementary teacher who gives a fair amount of description of the children she teaches and their weaknesses. These are two types of blogs I do not want to mirror. I wouldn’t want to ridicule my children, nor make them easy for anyone to find.

I have tried to be careful about information I post on my blog when it comes to my children, but I have fallen short in some areas and have become aware of some ways my efforts can be easily defeated by much of my own doing. I haven’t mentioned my children’s names, schools, teachers, or our physical address on my blog, but I wasn’t as careful with my own name which has me considering to redo the whole thing and use a different web address. Also, I have included the option of comments after each post and a ZonkBoard on the side which allows people who know me to post information they may not be aware that they shouldn’t. Obviously not everyone is going to read Blood’s book and be aware of any sort of etiquette and I should have been more aware of that. Every caution I have taken could be in vain because of the cautions I didn’t take.

Without Blood’s book, I may not have considered some of these issues and after time may have felt more at ease to add more personal information, but now I will be more aware of what I should and shouldn’t post and the mistakes I have made thus far. Look for my new blog address in the near future.

Have you ever felt that your whole purpose of life is to repeat the same words and phrases over and over again just in the hopes that some day someone will actually hear you say them?

I have almost lost my mind. Aches, sneezing, coughing... the last couple days have been fun. Today we all stayed home; I was up much of the night trying to breath and the kids were coughing all night as well... One would think a household full of sick people would be kind of quiet with the misery echoing in the background.. but, no. My two boys are irritable... everything one does, bothers the other and the next thing you know we have a wrestling match with two coughing competitors. It's a sad sight to see; then there's the achy referee who doesn't have the energy to pry a pillow from her own son's face that was placed there by the other son who has had just about enough of his brother. And the whining... that alone is enough to make you crawl back in bed with earplugs for the year.

I started reading, in part, the book, "Boys!: Shaping Ordinary Boys into Extraordinary Men" by William Beausay II. Although I am not that far into the book, I have thus far found myself in a love/hate relationship with it. I find I strongly agree to some parts and strongly disagree with others... I should have expected some disagreement because the author warns in the beginning that parents do not like to be told they are doing something wrong, but that isn't my problem so far.

I guess my problem stems from the use of gender roles; I don't see it as cut and dry as the book suggests.

The author states, "When a boy is born, he needs nurturing, motherly care that the father cannot offer. Dad's role is limited at the start, except to play a support role for the mother and what she is doing. Dad's importance, however, grows exponentially after the first years of life. As a boy grows through the first five years of life, the scene begins to change. He begins to have needs for what Dad offers that Mother can't fulfill. A boy in this period doesn't need a mothering daddy. He needs a man who is decisive, fun, and willing to stand up and be counted. He needs a coach, mentor, and hero. (25)"

In my opinion, the only thing the mother has to offer that is impossible for a man to do is breastfeeding. And even feedings can be done by the father if the milk is pumped and a bottle is used or in the case of using formula, either can take on the role. The assumption that a father cannot nurture and care for an infant and be as successful as a mother bothers me. When my first child was born, I wasn't immediately skilled in caring for him. Getting to know each other took time and patience; I needed to ask others or read books in order to know what to do. I believe that if the father kept his distance, then he wouldn't have the knowledge or attachment to care for the child, but I would believe the same to be true of the mother. I have seen, as I am sure many of you have, many a nurturing male whose skills far exceed many females when it comes to baby care.

Obviously the second part of this quote would bother me as well. Many women are decisive, fun, and willing to stand up and be counted and they can make excellent coaches, mentors, and heroes. It is my belief that children do mimic their parents and can pull strengths from both sides. The author does talk about this and encourages parents to allow the child to have both masculine and feminine traits; but I still don’t see his point here. If we assume that the mother is best for the first years of life and then the father is best after that, the child can miss out on both parents’ strong points when the other is “in charge”. If we want a well rounded son out of the deal, what is wrong with both parents being good nurturers and caretakers from the beginning as well as coaches, mentors, and heroes later on? Maybe he sees this as the ideal situation? But, I would still argue.

I still believe this book will be a great value to me and hopefully I won't find many instances that I disagree with; maybe I should have chose a book with a more neutral name, such as, Children!: Shaping ordinary kids into extraordinary adults. Ahh well! ;o)

Where is Snoopy when you need to do a happy dance? Things are in working order... :o) :o)

I'm okay, really...

Well, after 6 and a half (no exaggeration) hours of working on the replacement mind station I received today, I am finally getting somewhere. I've spent much of my time on the phone with leapfrog support and the customer support for my computer... it is true, it was not leapfrog's problem; the serial port wasn't detecting the mind station, so I had to do a non-destructive recovery ... But, I could have done without the air of superiority I received (and the constant reminder that this IS my second Mind Station, as if my main goal is to go through as many as possible)... especially from someone who didn't sound like they knew much themselves, in my opinion... one who wonders how come the setup program would still be on my desktop if I unistalled the software?????? Soo I spent some time trying to educate someone as they talked down to me.. that was fun. I did talk to a nice man from customer support for my computer, but I had to hang up with him while I saved the files I wanted to be sure not to lose... he understood everything I was saying and knew what he was talking about... he was the only one who did tonight - I call back to do the non-destructive recovery... Let's just say I ended up having to figure it out myself --- I actually have way too much to say about this evening, but I really don't want the impressions I would receive for using such language...

Only two hours more til my two all-time-favorite Valentines come home. I can almost see the little hearts hanging above their heads where lightbulbs normally go. All I'm hoping for is a Valentine hug; I am sure I won't be disappointed - they always pull through with a few of those for the old lady they think is always at home waiting for them to call and tell her what they forgot to bring to school each day. Maybe I'll even get a couple Valentines made just for me... that I don't have to return... ;o)

I enjoyed the chocolate, Renee; Thank you.

I have a bit of a confession to make. I'm a little embarrassed about it, but excited at the same time.

Well, you know how I bought the turbo twist spelling for my kids? Hmm well, after I saw how much they liked it and how it was causing them to fight over who gets to learn more spelling today ( lol )... well I bought 3 more turbo twists. *blush* It's not like I have a never-ending money supply - really quite the contrary. I just figured it was a good investment. If you're interested, I got turbo twist math, vocabulator, and brain quest. You may laugh at how I seem to lack control, but last night my first grader learned multiplication; just a little bit, but what amazed me was as soon as he turned it on, he wasn't interested in doing the addition and subtraction he has already had a taste of in school. He wanted to learn something new. *grin* After he played around with multiplication for a while, he asked me about fractions! I told him we could work on those later because I thought too much info might confuse him and he was fine with that. One thing about these turbo twists is we can only put one player name in, so they fight a little about who gets who's name on which one (no, I'm not going to buy two of each one). The other can play as a guest, but their score doesn't save... so I try to urge them towards putting their names on the ones that best suit each one. For instance, since my oldest was drifting on his spelling tests, I thought his name should be on that particular one. Both of my kids seem stronger in math, so I let the younger name that one (you can reset the name, so nothing is in stone).

Caroline had mentioned that the turbo twist she bought could be used to add the child's personal spelling list from school, so I want to comment on that. I am wondering if they changed that option to make it so you have to hook up to the website in order to enter them in (I think this is a premier activity); everything I have read seems to point in that direction. I bought the mind station you need in order to connect, but it currently doesn't work, so they are sending me a replacement. You have two choices for upgrading them, however; you can subscribe to their service and download lists that they have (or your own lists) onto cartridges that you can insert into the game OR you can buy pre-made cartridges that are aimed towards certain ages or grade levels. From what I understand, you get 6 months trial subscription to the premier activities and after that time period you have access to only the standard activities unless you pay 18 dollars a year. Since I got the mind station as a package deal with the turbo twist spelling, I plan to make my own cartridges, so I bought a cartridge for each turbo twist (you can use the same cartridge over and over).. we'll see how that goes. 18 dollars a year doesn't seem too high of a price to pay and they mention you can get a discount after that. I guess I am just "leaping" in and hoping it is worth it in the end and not too much of a problem as far as upkeep.

I seriously doubt that Caroline thought I was going to take this to the extent I did, but when you're a parent there are all sorts of things you can buy to help your child along, it's just hard to tell which ones are worth your money until someone you know tells you how they worked for them. :o)

You're a very interesting person, UA

I went sunday, monday and most of today without a microwave; that was about enough for me. Leftovers were being wasted and I kept walking to the corner of the counter where the microwave used to be to put something in... Sooo, I have a new one, a step down from the one I had. The problem is that the one I had wasn't very old - less than a year? My son stuck a can of something in the old one and zapped it all up, so I figure if we're going to be going through microwaves like this... I better opt for a smaller model. I'm ruining the environment single handed. Ugh! This new microwave came with a set of knives inside... what are they trying to tell me?

It's sure a good thing that my feelings don't get hurt real easy... my oldest gave me a valentine a week ago; I was so happy. Then he told me how grandma made the whole thing and all she had him do was sign it; she didn't even tell him who it was for until it was done. hahaha My youngest gave me one last night; I smiled (they want me to be their valentine I'm thinking). Then he told me he made it for me and his dad and could he have it back to give to him? LOL

I was strolling around the class blogs before I head to bed and I noticed Karl was talking about Park Rapids and how they parallel park on the middle of main street. I think this is the one unique thing about Park Rapids; growing up there, you don't find it odd at all until you see how other towns park. ;o)

Karl, apparently I lost your comment by changing my comment option, but I read your message before it was lost and I thank you very much. :o)

Well I copied Ayleen's Comment section by following where she got it from... hope I did it right, my other didn't seem to be working correctly, but my blog doesn't seem to be working correctly either... sooo ahh well ... who knows what this will all look like tomorrow morning.

Well, I am having a wonderful time this weekend. All I wanted was to catch up on my homework this weekend... that's alll I wanted. My kids are gone and there should be no reason I can't catch up.... sooo my neighbor wanted help putting her entertainment center together, which I happily helped her with on Friday night right into the a.m. on Saturday. So I slept late Saturday, but I still have the rest of Saturday and Sunday... the phone didn't quit.. on the phone much of the day telling everyone how I am going to do my homework.. sat myself down after I threw a snack in the microwave... only needed to be in there 10 seconds, but apparently I put 10 minutes (although I keep thinking my microwave does this to torment me) and so the thing cooked about 3 minutes and started a fire....... with lots of smoke..... fire alarm going off... apartment filling with smoke.. bad smell. I got the smoke alarm to be quiet and then was working on getting all the smoke out - it was awfully hazy in here. Soooo since then I've had a bit of a headache and my stomache was hurting from the anxiety. I tried cleaning out the microwave, but it was burnt and very smelly so I had to toss it out. But the smell has well overstayed it's welcome and I have been trying to wipe things down to remove it. Sigh Then I sit down to look at this thing and it's not working correctly either and I haven't gotten my homework done. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... wonder how far I'll be by tomorrow?

yeah, I'm frustrated...

I think something is wrong with my comment section... working on that now. I did test it out after I set it up...

The turbo twist arrived today; my two kids have been fighting over it all night... a success!

I am quite blown away at some of my classmates responses to Blood vs. Bernstein. I am feeling pretty inadequate right now.

I found a blog I like, it's an open forum type where several people blog to it. It's called Bitch Sessions, but the name can be deceiving - although alluring.

I should mention that last week was a spelling success! He got 100% Wooohooooo

My kids were gone all weekend, but they are back safe and sound now :o) I think my brain is avoiding our assignment for some reason. I have tons of things I should be writing... but here I am. So I'll probably have my wiki going until all hours of the morning :o( I did, although, find some time to order the twist and spell online. They call it a LeapFrog Turbo Twist Spelling and we got the Mind Station with it, so hopefully we can hook up to the internet and download some spelling. Thanks again, Caroline !

I also decided to order them some Eric Carle books. I don't know if they are over the suggested age limit for some of them, but it doesn't matter... They have both borrowed Dream Snow from the school library and they enjoyed pushing the button at the end to hear a little song. So, I went a little crazy because I get excited when they get excited about anything to do with reading, so I started ordering more than just the one book they like hoping they would like these others too... I ended up with: The Grouchy Ladybug, The Very Quiet Cricket, The Very Clumsy Click Beetle, and, of course, Dream Snow.

Apparently I'm doing something wrong... maybe I should head over to the Wiki and don't look back. Links disappear out of nowhere and then when I think I've figured out something cool on this thing,,, it kicks me in the *bleep* *bleep* double *bleep*